You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Randomize
