Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
My liver just had a heart attack.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
