I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
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