return my video game
the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
