My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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