please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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