she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I'm at about main and main street
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
