we have officially lost it.
can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
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The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
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Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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