Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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