what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I faked an abortion last night.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Randomize
