I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize