Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
