can u get pink eye on your cock?
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Randomize
