Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
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