I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
nutella sex= disaster
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
