so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
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So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
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i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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