What did we do last night that was yellow?
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize