Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize
