She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
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