So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Randomize