u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Non-Jews are for practice
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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