plz talk dirty to me
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Randomize
