If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
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