Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
it hurts more in the daytime
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
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