All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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