I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
She announced her abortion via fbk
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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