FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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