I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I have aggressive nipples.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
