in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
