what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
