Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
