how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
