I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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