a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
