he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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