are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
