oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
