OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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