I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize