i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
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