We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Randomize
