that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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