so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
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