dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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