is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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