She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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