When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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