Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Randomize
