Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Randomize
