i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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