god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
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