just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
