i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
