this beer tastes like vomit already
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I just googled if crying burns calories
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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