I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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