i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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